10 Growth Mindset Tips I Learned from My Kids
My two boys have taught me a lot about how to have a growth mindset. While they look sweet posing for this photo, they could be moments away from leaping off the tree house or climbing the roof! They’re always looking for challenges and ways to grow.
Many Kids Naturally Have a Growth Mindset
Living in a household with boys finds me stretching the limits of my parental comfort zone daily.
I often stop dead in my tracks and have to grit my teeth to not shriek in horror as my children jump off high objects. They do this both indoors and outdoors, naturally. My boys bike ride and go-cart at Mach speed down the sidewalks, climb mountainous rock piles as if they were invincible, and do what young boys do when tempted by the good ole outdoors. All the while I'm trying to stay calm.
The combination of the last few month’s social distancing and starting my own business has meant no more long daily commute to work.
I've been able to spend more time with my children (yay!) and live more of my life through their lens and daily routines. Although my boys often seem to be on a mission to test my inner zen, I've been grateful for the time to reflect on life, my family, and my aspirations.
As parents, there's a lot we can learn from our kids.
We often forget that there's wisdom in our children despite their young age. We just have to take the time to be completely present in their lives.
So let's get to it!
Here are 10 growth mindset tips I've learned from spending more time with my kids.
1) Being kind is the only way to BE.
At any age, learning ways to communicate effectively lessens misunderstandings, unnecessary tension in relationships, and wasted emotion. My children's fun times can quickly go sideways when they're not intentional about creating a kind environment for the other. This then results in bickering and other not-so-nice behaviours easily avoidable if they took a different communication approach with each other at the outset! Kindness begets kindness.
2) Understanding who you are and who others are makes for better interactions.
This is especially the case if you’re playing together all day. While as adults we might not be building forts with our friends all day, we do work side-by-side with co-workers and employees.
If you understand yourself and the attitudes, emotions, and preferences of others, you can compromise better. This particular point highlights another aspect of a growth mindset, which is how essential it is to "know thyself." The additional layer of knowing others is critical. If you know yourself and others, you can handle your own emotional approach and reactions and respond accordingly to others' actions.
3) Be brave.
Well, I speak for myself here, when I say that children are braver than adults. But I wonder where my physical risk-taking spirit I had as a kid went! Starting from when children are born, they have an uninhibited desire to take risks. As a child, we develop skills and an understanding of the world through the risks we take.
Imagine as a toddler if you never tried to speak for fear of making just 'noise'—that's ridiculous! Or what if as children, we never tried to move, scoot, crawl, or walk for fear of making a mistake or falling—again ridiculous! This all involves risk.
Where there is no risk, there's no reward!
For kids, learning to walk relies on their innate desire to take on new challenges and have a growth mindset. Every baby is born WITH a growth mindset.
4) With a little encouragement, we can all climb higher in life.
We feel wonderful when we overcome difficulties. I see my children taking my words of wisdom and my limiting beliefs, and turning those statements on their head.
"Yikes, don't climb up the top of that rock mountain, or you'll fall! Watch out, it's dangerous!"
Well, they do, they conquer, and they feel great. You see, siblings encourage each other to do so-called crazy things, and it often works out just fine. If we support each other to climb higher in life, we'll all rise together just like our kids do.
5) We can embrace all of life's good and bad times, knowing that nothing lasts forever!
Two aspects of this resonate with me. My children have gone through many stages, celebrated milestones, created memories, endured trials and tribulations, and we as parents have been along for the ride.
The not-so-good was more difficult, but during those seasons, we knew that nothing lasts forever. So you might as well embrace the struggle. While I see this lesson embodied in my children, I'm also reminded that this first came to me from my mother.
When my mother (an extremely tough and positive woman) battled cancer in 2017/2018, brave as ever, she would always say, "this too shall pass." Even when circumstances during the treatment cycle didn't look good, she always reminded us of that lesson. She is here today, and for that, I am grateful!
I will take today, hold it dear, and wish for tomorrow, knowing that nothing lasts forever. Our job is simply to do the best we can with what is presented to us in this lifetime.
6) We know better than anyone how well we did and how much effort we put in.
My sons are proud of themselves when they take time and put in the effort to create a piece of work for school. They've felt engaged in a process, and they know how much they've put into it. Real success is when the inner fire of desire results in heightened motivation.
I’ve noticed that when my kids play a game and feel a little bit of success, they’re ready to take the game on again with more enthusiasm. They love to build on their successes.
7) When we taste success, we want to taste it over and over again!
I notice games, books or activities we have completed bring them much satisfaction and joy when they get to give it another try. To do well makes us feel good, so we tend to repeat activities that bring us joy and happiness.
Healthy competition with oneself is essential for resilience in the real world. It's a necessary skill to master.
8) Saying yes is sometimes as wise as saying NO.
When my youngest was a toddler, he had a tendency to question his parents, and he "needed" to have exactly what his big brother had. He couldn't fully understand things from a more mature perspective. That's pretty normal for a toddler! One option would be to always say no if something didn't make sense.
But saying yes to an action my children wish to explore gives them the agency to try something with permission. I know they'll do it anyway. Saying "NO" creates hostility, challenge, and greater opportunity for questioning. Saying "yes" and letting things flow is sometimes the best choice.
Sometimes we need to just take a big, deep breath and sigh. We need to remember to not sweat the small stuff.
9) Look where you’re going rather than where you’ve been.
Riding bikes, Go-Carts, and other moving objects only go well if you keep focused on the road ahead. The minute you look to the side or behind is the moment you crash! Don't focus on what you cannot change, or what has passed. What is ahead can only be accomplished by looking at where you are going!
The adventure is ahead of you, not behind.
10) It is always important to DREAM!
All children are equally adventurous and creative. Our inner child craves this innovation and creativity. Take advice from your kids and dream an unbelievably phenomenal DREAM that is yours to hold on to.
There's Always More to Learn
I admit that I'm not wearing rose coloured glasses when I think of my kids.
All the time at home with my kids sometimes makes me want to yell out, "I need some time with other adults!" But I can't help but feel grateful as well.
My kids teach and remind me daily of lessons I should hold near and dear. Thank you, my darlings, for being my inspiration this week!
What growth mindset tips have you learned from your kids?
Or if you’re a teacher, what have you learned from your students? Let me know in the comments below. I would love to hear from you!
Hi! I’m Amanda Da Silva.
I’m a mother of two boys, a wife, daughter, teacher, entrepreneur, former independent school CEO, and life-long learner. I’m all about personal growth, community 💕, and being of service. (Find out more about me here.) In addition to being passionate about personal development, I’m an educator and coach with 20-years experience teaching and leading in the BC school system. I have a B.Hkin, B.Ed, and M.Ed, specializing in leadership and administration. Creating community and leading thriving teams are two of my favourite things to do. I also love helping people live empowered and growth-oriented lives.
I hope you’ll join me as we build our success together! 🙌
